I just want to say this hit so personally. I used to buy so many journals (I still kind of do for the love of an ornate cover) and agonize over THEE perfect pen, which for a time was in purple ink. I happened to be flipping through my journal thinking to myself “why on earth did I use purple ink” when your article popped up.
I cannot for the life of me stress how many pages I’ve torn out because I hated my handwriting, thought what I wrote sounded ridiculous, and the worst offense of all— scribbles from the misspellings. I started off leaving the scribbles. Then, using any pen. It’s so small, but so freeing. Your writing was wonderful to read and gave me the little push to keep working on writing I’ve wanted to post, but have terrified to do so. I look forward to reading more of your work!
That comment is so heartfelt. Thank you so, so, so much—it means the world to me. I literally resonate with every sentence you wrote (ornate covers are more addictive than nicotine; I can’t resist them in any way). The fact that you’re telling me about a purple ink pen while I’m holding my pink ink is absolutely hilarious and made me giggle so hard.
All those pages we tore out and tossed in the bin (yours and mine)—gone to waste—is so saddening. I can’t even explain it. Like, why didn’t we just leave them? We could’ve gone back to them now and appreciated the small imperfections that created a lovely whole journal—but we didn’t. I guess that’s one of the biggest paradoxes (and a metaphor for all the other things we should have done but didn’t). We knew it was for “our eyes only” and that it didn’t have to be ideal, yet we still wanted perfect sense, beautiful handwriting, and, of course, no typos. But why?
I’m so glad you noticed that for yourself because it’s definitely not worth it to throw away even a single page—it all comes together as a whole. Again, thank you so much for the support. love you, and I hope you have a wonderful day! xx
(ps. I will be posting again soon, and I can’t wait to hear more from you!)
I got such a good laugh over our pen choices! And it is sad. So many little things you could look back on and removed the opportunity to enjoy it for what it was— and my gosh it does bleed into things outside of writing. The good news is there will be more mistakes to be made in the best way possible. Sending you so much love and have a beautiful day yourself!!💕
very relatable. after embracing the mess, I can say it definitely it gets better and I no longer overthink my journaling. I’ve allowed myself to exist fully in other areas too and over time things aligned more and more 🩷🩷
Hello, I've been reading a lot about shame and perfectionism lately. And yes you're right, cringing and having the urge to make things perfect stems from shame and fear of vulnerability. Not necessarily about being seen by others, it can be about how you view yourself. In order for you to be your authentic best self, you have to be so accepting of your flaws, so open to imperfection, knowing that the world will keep spinning even if you didn't hit your full potential right away. This is something I've been going through myself which is why I resonate so hard with your essay. Being a perfectionist has built shame and fear of failure in me that makes me procrastinate only because of a possibility of failure that might not even happen. You really have to sit with the uncomfortable to welcome growth.
i agree with you completely thank u so much for your support!!! i think falling into that endless loophole can be exhausting and even dangerous cause we’re loosing ourselves in that process of reaching for perfection. ps. procrastination is also my biggest enemy maybe i should write about that next time??
OMG YES so true, we get so preoccupied with trying to be so good that we completely forget how fun the process is!!!!1!1 yes please write about procrastination it's such a big issue for so many people
As a perfectionist this hit home! I am muchh better than I used to be in dealing with my all-or-nothing thinking and this is exactly how I started too although It did take some therapy to realize it!
I love this! Yup, don’t wait to be ready and perfect for something that you want to do. Just be willing to be someone who does “that thing” that you want to do. Ironic because as I write this, I’m already cursing inside because I can’t perfectly write what I want to say but lesson learned, mess it up, fail it.. but go ahead and try, just do it. Do it messy and do it scared.
but u didn’t fail!!!! i understood every word u just said and u “worded” it perfectly. remember, trying is never failing, even if it goes down not exactly how u wished it would turn out u tried and that means u accomplished something. love ya
this resonates with me so so so so much. i am trying too to let go of my worries about being “imperfect” but i still have a long way to go. reading this kinda felt like a relief
there is nothing in this world that is "imperfect". u can dislike something about urself - we all secretly do, but u can always change that. whenever ur ready. and if u dont, then thats okay because i'm pretty sure u're perfect the way u are. love u buhbye
the journal metaphor is so real and felt (as someone who has a million untouched journals but made a promise to myself to not buy a new one until I finish all of them). There is something so liberating about letting things be messy and teaching ourselves that as long as whatever you do is backed by genuine intent and passion, the quality of the action doesn't mean as much as at the end of the day, you did something meaningful for yourself and that's what truly matters. Such a great read, thanks so much for writing! <3
this came to me at such a wonderful time. i've been working on my perfectionism with my therapist this summer, and we just had a discussion about how sometimes"done is better than perfect." the words need to come out - it doesn't matter the order or the sound.
Thank you for writing this! Perfectionism and the pressure to perform can get very tricky and it‘s good to know that other people feel the same way (and that there is a way to make it better).
so so relatable! i'm still working on letting the small imperfections not bother me but reading this made me realise i just need to take slower but surer steps. loved reading xx
This hit so close to home, I tend to always wait for the “right” moment to start or not start because I don’t want to fail. These days I tell myself confidence comes from doing and if I started something last week, by this weekend I’ll be a week-good at it
I just want to say this hit so personally. I used to buy so many journals (I still kind of do for the love of an ornate cover) and agonize over THEE perfect pen, which for a time was in purple ink. I happened to be flipping through my journal thinking to myself “why on earth did I use purple ink” when your article popped up.
I cannot for the life of me stress how many pages I’ve torn out because I hated my handwriting, thought what I wrote sounded ridiculous, and the worst offense of all— scribbles from the misspellings. I started off leaving the scribbles. Then, using any pen. It’s so small, but so freeing. Your writing was wonderful to read and gave me the little push to keep working on writing I’ve wanted to post, but have terrified to do so. I look forward to reading more of your work!
That comment is so heartfelt. Thank you so, so, so much—it means the world to me. I literally resonate with every sentence you wrote (ornate covers are more addictive than nicotine; I can’t resist them in any way). The fact that you’re telling me about a purple ink pen while I’m holding my pink ink is absolutely hilarious and made me giggle so hard.
All those pages we tore out and tossed in the bin (yours and mine)—gone to waste—is so saddening. I can’t even explain it. Like, why didn’t we just leave them? We could’ve gone back to them now and appreciated the small imperfections that created a lovely whole journal—but we didn’t. I guess that’s one of the biggest paradoxes (and a metaphor for all the other things we should have done but didn’t). We knew it was for “our eyes only” and that it didn’t have to be ideal, yet we still wanted perfect sense, beautiful handwriting, and, of course, no typos. But why?
I’m so glad you noticed that for yourself because it’s definitely not worth it to throw away even a single page—it all comes together as a whole. Again, thank you so much for the support. love you, and I hope you have a wonderful day! xx
(ps. I will be posting again soon, and I can’t wait to hear more from you!)
I got such a good laugh over our pen choices! And it is sad. So many little things you could look back on and removed the opportunity to enjoy it for what it was— and my gosh it does bleed into things outside of writing. The good news is there will be more mistakes to be made in the best way possible. Sending you so much love and have a beautiful day yourself!!💕
i think i just fell in love with u xx
🫂💞
very relatable. after embracing the mess, I can say it definitely it gets better and I no longer overthink my journaling. I’ve allowed myself to exist fully in other areas too and over time things aligned more and more 🩷🩷
i love that for you! thank you so much for commenting i really appreciate the support💗 keep it up with the journaling!!! xo
Hello, I've been reading a lot about shame and perfectionism lately. And yes you're right, cringing and having the urge to make things perfect stems from shame and fear of vulnerability. Not necessarily about being seen by others, it can be about how you view yourself. In order for you to be your authentic best self, you have to be so accepting of your flaws, so open to imperfection, knowing that the world will keep spinning even if you didn't hit your full potential right away. This is something I've been going through myself which is why I resonate so hard with your essay. Being a perfectionist has built shame and fear of failure in me that makes me procrastinate only because of a possibility of failure that might not even happen. You really have to sit with the uncomfortable to welcome growth.
i agree with you completely thank u so much for your support!!! i think falling into that endless loophole can be exhausting and even dangerous cause we’re loosing ourselves in that process of reaching for perfection. ps. procrastination is also my biggest enemy maybe i should write about that next time??
OMG YES so true, we get so preoccupied with trying to be so good that we completely forget how fun the process is!!!!1!1 yes please write about procrastination it's such a big issue for so many people
As a perfectionist this hit home! I am muchh better than I used to be in dealing with my all-or-nothing thinking and this is exactly how I started too although It did take some therapy to realize it!
I love this! Yup, don’t wait to be ready and perfect for something that you want to do. Just be willing to be someone who does “that thing” that you want to do. Ironic because as I write this, I’m already cursing inside because I can’t perfectly write what I want to say but lesson learned, mess it up, fail it.. but go ahead and try, just do it. Do it messy and do it scared.
but u didn’t fail!!!! i understood every word u just said and u “worded” it perfectly. remember, trying is never failing, even if it goes down not exactly how u wished it would turn out u tried and that means u accomplished something. love ya
GIRLLL love ya!! and thank you❤️❤️
this resonates with me so so so so much. i am trying too to let go of my worries about being “imperfect” but i still have a long way to go. reading this kinda felt like a relief
there is nothing in this world that is "imperfect". u can dislike something about urself - we all secretly do, but u can always change that. whenever ur ready. and if u dont, then thats okay because i'm pretty sure u're perfect the way u are. love u buhbye
Wow, great article! I can relate completely and will try to use some of my unfinished notebooks before I buy a new one!
thank you so much! it means the world to me that you enjoyed my article. love ya
much love to you too!!
The smudged ink, the page you don’t rip—
that’s where the soul lives.
Thank you for reminding me that becoming isn’t about perfect starts,
it’s about staying with the mess long enough to grow. 🤍
the journal metaphor is so real and felt (as someone who has a million untouched journals but made a promise to myself to not buy a new one until I finish all of them). There is something so liberating about letting things be messy and teaching ourselves that as long as whatever you do is backed by genuine intent and passion, the quality of the action doesn't mean as much as at the end of the day, you did something meaningful for yourself and that's what truly matters. Such a great read, thanks so much for writing! <3
this came to me at such a wonderful time. i've been working on my perfectionism with my therapist this summer, and we just had a discussion about how sometimes"done is better than perfect." the words need to come out - it doesn't matter the order or the sound.
Thank you for writing this! Perfectionism and the pressure to perform can get very tricky and it‘s good to know that other people feel the same way (and that there is a way to make it better).
so so relatable! i'm still working on letting the small imperfections not bother me but reading this made me realise i just need to take slower but surer steps. loved reading xx
This hit so close to home, I tend to always wait for the “right” moment to start or not start because I don’t want to fail. These days I tell myself confidence comes from doing and if I started something last week, by this weekend I’ll be a week-good at it
So well written, I absolutely loved it :)
Perfection kills beauty
i really needed to hear this 💗